Life in LADA land

Living Philippians 1:6 with type 1.5 diabetes

Forgetting diabetes

on May 27, 2012

Something happened this week that I had thought was impossible. I actually forgot I had diabetes for a little while.  That might sound really odd to those of you who don’t have diabetes or some other chronic condition, but I think most other type 1s would agree with me that this is not a disease that lets you forget it for very long.  But I actually sat down to eat dinner with my family this week, and had started eating and talking when all of a sudden I remembered that I’m diabetic and needed to check my BG and dose with insulin for that meal!  This incident was refreshing and scary at the same time.  It was refreshing  because it reminded me that my whole life is not about diabetes.  Yes, diabetes is now a big part of my life (much bigger than I would like for it to be!), but it is not by any means all of my life.  I was able to get so involved with my husband and son in conversation and fun that diabetes took a back seat for a while in my mind.  Nice.

But also scary.  In two ways.  First, scary because if I had not stopped and taken the insulin I needed for that meal, I would have had to deal with the consequences for hours, probably interrupting a good night’s sleep, and so perhaps even affecting the next day.  If I forget or ignore this disease, things go haywire very quickly, and getting back on track is not all that easy.  And the long term consequences of uncontrolled blood glucose are frightening, and I want to do everything I possibly can to avoid them.

Second, it was scary because it reminded me how easy it is to become obsessive about diabetes.  My whole life could easily become wrapped up in managing my BG and keeping track of it all.  That’s not hard for me to imagine, since I really love having control of things.  Diabetes, at least type 1 diabetes, does not like to be controlled, so the struggle is to manage as best as we can.  And I could really let that management dominate my life to the detriment of some other really wonderful stuff, like my family, my work and my faith.

I would much rather become obsessive about other things. Like prayer, or studying the Scriptures, or caring for my family and my church family.  I really do NOT want diabetes to upstage any of those things, and it can.  There are days when I just don’t feel up to the demands on me, when I just want to crawl back home and sulk about how awful I feel.  There are other days (more of them these days fortunately) when I’m strong and full of energy and want to take on the world.  Problem is, on those days, the challenge is to understand that those other days really do happen, so I must be careful about overscheduling.  (See, Joyce, I AM listening!)

So, I’m looking for the balance between forgetting about diabetes and obsessing on it.  Life is full of challenges these days.

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2 responses to “Forgetting diabetes

  1. Colleen says:

    Been there, done that. A couple of times. Eating, chatting and then – “Oops, I have diabetes! I have to test. I have to push buttons on my pump.”
    Meant to tell you. I always run high on Sunday mornings, too. It’s annoying.

    • Colleen says:

      I have finally gotten Sunday mornings under control! A temp basal increase of 30% for a couple of hours keeps me in range. Yea! But today I spent most of the afternoon at above 200. VERY frustrating since there isn’t any obvious reason for it.

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