Life in LADA land

Living Philippians 1:6 with type 1.5 diabetes

Pre-approved

on July 21, 2012

I decided the other day that one of the problems with having diabetes (and there are SO many to choose from!) is that we don’t get any instant feedback when we do stuff right.  When I get done with a great swim in the mornings, there not someone there to say “Way to go, Colleen!  Way to fight that insulin resistance!”.  When I forego the snacks throughout the day due to willpower (or more likely, because it’s just too much of a pain to dose for them), there’s no one cheering me on saying “Way to go, Colleen!  Way to limit those carbs!”.  When I carefully insert an infusion site and fill up the cartridge for my pump with insulin so that there are NO air bubbles, no one is there to say “Way to go, Colleen!  Way to be diligent with all those tedious maintenance tasks!”.  The fact is, that’s just reality.  It’s my life to live, my diabetes to deal with, my own self that needs encouragement from within.  Sure, I have a great support team around me – health care providers (that sounds so institutional, but you know who you are), family, friends, co-workers. I am grateful for their putting up with my whining, my lows, my highs and all the changes that have come into our lives due to this thing called LADA.  I have no basis for complaints.

I’m just looking for some way to get myself through all the everyday stuff.  There are “public” diabetes events – A1C numbers, computer records from pump and Dexcom, blood profiles, weight changes – all these things are celebrated (or not) with other people.  But the day to day slogging through diabetes is mine to deal with on my own.  No one else sees that great job I just did managing the insulin pump refill in under 10 minutes.  No one else is going to congratulate me every day that I exercise.  No one else is going to celebrate the tracings on my Dexcom that show an entire 24 hour period within my target range. This has to be okay.  I can’t need a cheerleader all the time.  But, I can dream, can’t I?  Long term  consequences for managing diabetes are great – better health, avoiding all those nasty side effects – but like a kid, sometimes I just want short term reinforcement.

And so it is with faith.  I heard an interview with John Piper recently that was done right after one of his talks at the Gospel Coalition’s National Women’s Conference. He talked about who we seek approval from – men or God.   His point was that we must not desire the approval of people more than the approval of God. But I do.  I know I do.  I hate it, but I do.  In the same way that I crave pats on the back for managing my diabetes, I crave the approval of people in general.  I know that isn’t the way it is supposed to be.  God is sufficient for me. I know that – in my head.  I should be satisfied – totally satisfied – when I am living in a way that honors Him and following what I understand to be His will for me. To quote John Piper,  “He is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.”  I have that quote sitting on my desk these days to remind me that I don’t need people to approve of me, all I need is God’s approval, and in Christ, I have that.

The flip side of this is that I have realized that I don’t serve as a cheerleader for others nearly enough.  I can’t be the only person who needs encouragement regularly.  And so I will seek to be a better friend, a better encourager.  Not to gain the approval of others, but to bring glory to my Creator.  May God help me to do it!

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2 responses to “Pre-approved

  1. Colleen says:

    Way to go, Colleen!
    Made me smile – couldn’t figure out what I’d done right. Oh yeah, we have the same name.:)

  2. Colleen says:

    Just think about all the stuff you’ve done today to deal with diabetes – and what would have happened if you had just done nothing about it. That’s the stuff you’ve done right. And there’s gotta be a bunch of that!

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