Life in LADA land

Living Philippians 1:6 with type 1.5 diabetes

All I have needed……

on September 23, 2012

It’s Sunday again. This Sunday was a bit better than last, in that I didn’t feel awful.  I don’t take that lightly and am grateful.  But my blood sugar still soared into the upper 200s and took it’s own sweet (!) time coming down to somewhere near normal.  I tried a new strategy this morning in hopes of avoiding this trend, but it clearly didn’t work. I even worked out in the fitness center yesterday in hopes that perhaps working out on Saturday would help my blood sugars stay more in line on Sunday.  Yeah, well, the workout felt great, but it didn’t do what I hoped.  I guess a good workout is never wasted though….

So I was feeling a little sorry for myself in church with this really high blood sugar bugging me.  We had just learned in our excellent Sunday School class on Job that when we try to interpret all of life from our point of view, believing we are the center of the universe, it results in pain and frustration in our lives.  Our lives and any suffering we have (as Job did) may have a design and purpose far beyond our comprehension.  We will never be content or satisfied until we recognize that God is the center of the universe and has designed our life to fit exactly within His wise plan.  I was just beginning to absorb this when we began singing one of my favorite hymns, Great is Thy Faithfulness.  One line, in the chorus, (it was repeated 3 times in case I missed it the first 2 times!) really struck me.

Great is thy faithfulness, great is thy faithfulness

Morning by morning new mercies I see,

All I have needed thy hand hath provided,

Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.

All I have needed. Huh.  Not all I have wanted.  Kind of changes my perspective. What I want is to understand why this happens on Sundays and what I have to do to make it NOT happen.  Do I trust God to know what I need?  I certainly know that He has provided far more than I actually need in my life. So in terms of my diabetes, do I trust that He has given me all that I need to cope with soaring blood sugars on Sunday mornings? Or plunging blood sugars while I’m teaching Bible study?  Or scary low blood sugars in the middle of the night (51 last night at 2am, and I felt really shaky and clammy – not fun in the middle of the night)?  All I have needed thy hand hath provided.  Yes, I believe that. And so I will not rant and rave at my Sunday morning blood sugar patterns, but will accept that I have all I need to deal with it and maybe even eventually solve them. (My friend  and CDE Betty is smiling about now, as she has told me this before.)  I do not see the big picture as God does, and I do believe that He has a wise plan not just for me but for all of His creation, and I can’t always see how I fit into that design. So I will trust that He can see that design and is using all of my life – even the hard parts, like diabetes – to accomplish a bigger purpose in His plan. Knowing this really helped me today to cope without my usual frustration and emotion. And eventually, the blood sugars did resolve.

Great is thy faithfulness is still one of my favorite hymns. Now I will sing it more thoughtfully. And probably more joyously!

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