Life in LADA land

Living Philippians 1:6 with type 1.5 diabetes

Fearfully and wonderfully made

on November 14, 2012

I had a great visit with my doctor yesterday.  A1C 6.3 – yahoo!  Had blood drawn, my retina examined, got a flu shot and an appointment to go back for a cortisone shot on Friday for my ever-worsening carpal tunnel. Wow, busy morning.  But all those things, as helpful as they are, pale in comparison to the insight that he gave me into my discontent and frustration with some unexplainable (is that a word?) sticky highs that have plagued me lately.

You’d think with an A1C of 6.3, I’d be over the moon and not worry about those highs, since they apparently didn’t affect my overall management of my blood sugar. (In case you are wondering what the heck A1C is, it stands for hemoglobin A1C, and is a measure of average blood glucose over a 3 month period.  I could explain more about how it works, but I’m guessing most of you don’t care. If you do, let me know and I’ll bore you with the details. The goal for diabetics is to have an A1C under 7.)  When my doc told me my A1C this morning, I said I was surprised that it was that good. He asked why, and I explained that I have had several times over the past few months when my BG goes high late at night, or any time of day, really, then sticks there for hours, despite repeated doses of insulin.  I thought those incidents might have had a bigger impact on my average blood glucose.  And, I also explained that I find those sticky highs incredibly frustrating.  That’s when he said something I’ll remember for quite a while.  He reminded me that there is no possible way that I can regulate blood sugar as well as the body does (when the pancreas functions as it is supposed to).  I have great technology and terrific advisers, but nothing I do can duplicate what the body does all the time.  He’s right, of course.  This made up completely for the fact that earlier in the visit  he had looked at a swelling on my arm (which is likely a harmless lipoma) and said something like ” wow, that’s weird!”.  I love my doc!

I have been chewing on his words all day long (not the “wow, that’s weird”, but the part about regulating blood sugar).  It reminds me of a Bible verse that is usually related to babies, but certainly applies here.

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
(Psalm 139:13-16 ESV)

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  There is no way that I can duplicate the functions of my pancreas the way God originally planned and made it.  To let things like sticky highs affect my attitude as much as they do is really just arrogant. I cannot duplicate what God designed.  I am thankful that I can do as well as I can, to the extent that my A1C is within the acceptable range for diabetics.  So my goal is to be content to do what I can to address problems as they arise.  “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.”  Yep, John Piper really knows what he is talking about. I will never be satisfied with my minute by minute blood sugars.  But I can be satisfied in the God who made me and knows what my blood sugar is every minute of the day.

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