Life in LADA land

Living Philippians 1:6 with type 1.5 diabetes

Getting all the details right….or not.

on May 16, 2013

Now that I have a new pump that I can rely on (thank you Animas!), I can get back to the diabetic routine.  Except that of course, there is no such thing, since everyday is a new blood sugar adventure.  But at least I can be relatively assured that I can keep things mostly within normal range.  MOSTLY.

This has been an emotional week. Four days with four different ceremonies celebrating our son’s high school graduation in two weeks.  Baccalaureate, Academic Signing, last Orchestra Fe stival and Senior Awards. Each has its sweetness and sadness.  Trying to keep my blood sugar on a relatively even keel has been a challenge, to say the least. A challenge I haven’t been completely successful with.

Tuesday evening was the Orchestra Festival, a concert that features all of our school district’s strings students from 4th through 12th grade.  Our son has played since 4th grade, so we have a long history with this event. Add to that the fact that the Orchestra director is not going to be directing strings anymore but instead teaching general music at one of our elementary schools, and you have the emotional forecast for that evening.  Teary with a chance of sudden bursts of joy.  The bursts of joy were when our son won two very meaningful awards.  The teary part was hearing him play for one last time in high school (he will be playing in college which is great news!) and being part of the delegation who prepared and delivered the farewell for our director.

My blood sugar tends to go high when I get emotional.  But on Tuesday night, I also knew that I would be involved in preparations for the concert since I had to supervise some students and was a general girl Friday for the director and so would probably be pretty active before I could sit down to enjoy part of the concert.  So, I dosed conservatively for dinner, thinking that it would be better to go a bit high during the evening than to crash and burn with a bad low.  So I was completely unprepared when about halfway through the evening, I finally sat down with my husband to listen to some of the performances and realized I was feeling like a low was headed my way. I pulled out my CGM and sure enough, it said 72 with an arrow pointing straight down. Not good. I reached down for my purse where I have plenty of sources of carbs and realized I had left it backstage.  Really not good.  Fortunately my type 1 buddy Jane had sat down with us and when I showed her my CGM (after she realized it was not an iPod) she reached in her purse and pulled out a baggie of glucose tabs. Rescued!  I chomped away and eventually felt good enough to finish out my responsibilities for the evening.  But all that night and the next day I was stuck with lows.  No matter what or how often I ate, I was stuck in the 75-90 range most of the time with a brief excursion to 110 before it returned to the red zone (the lines on the graph of the CGM are red if your BG is below 80).

So once again, I am humbled by diabetes.  I cannot account for every detail of my life in advance so that I can administer the perfect dose of insulin.  Even if I could, I suspect something would interfere somewhere along the line so that my plans would go awry.  I cannot predict what my emotions are going to do to my BG. I cannot anticipate how active I am going to be at all times.  I think that is the hardest thing about diabetes – you have to think about what will happen when you do something spontaneously.  Do I need to eat something since I just made 3 trips back and forth – quickly – looking for the high school orchestra students?  Will I go high at an awards ceremony when my kid receives an unexpected honor?  If I decide to start doing some of the big cleaning projects to get ready for visiting family on the spur of the moment, do I need to stop and have a snack first?  The fact is, I don’t always think that way, and so diabetes hits me over the head occasionally with a sudden high or low.

I also realized, when my purse was AWOL, that I need other people. Sometimes I need people to rescue me when I am not prepared.  If Jane had not been there on Tuesday night, I would have had to make an awkward exit and figured out a way to get backstage without being obvious about it to get some carbs. Not impossible, but inconvenient.  I need people to listen to my rants and to encourage me to keep on trying, even when diabetes seems impossible to deal with.  And I need people to remind me that I’m really not the one in control here, and I’m never really alone.  So thank you to all of you who are there for me, either with a glucose tablet, a cookie, a sympathetic and encouraging word or a hand on the shoulder and a prayer for strength and relief.  I’d be a real basket case without you.

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One response to “Getting all the details right….or not.

  1. Jane Elliott says:

    Happy to help!! God always takes care of us and sometimes he uses even people with little purses and glucose tabs!!!

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