Life in LADA land

Living Philippians 1:6 with type 1.5 diabetes


Lately I feel like diabetes is trying its hardest to defeat me. I know that is personifying the disease in a very unrealistic way, but that’s how it feels.

A couple of Sundays ago I had the worst day I have had in months. Maybe even since LADA hit me. I went high overnight, into the upper 200s, probably due to a bad infusion site that I changed first thing the next morning. The thing is, in the middle of the night, when I am awakened repeatedly by my CGM to warn me that I am high, all I can think to do is punch buttons to send insulin to the rescue. Getting to the root of the problem is not on my mind in the dark, sleepy times.  So I dose and re-dose and nothing changes until I get up in the light of morning and assess what really happened.

So I changed the site, refilled my pump for good measure and everything magically turned around. Said no diabetic, ever. No, that kind of hours-long high takes hours to resolve in the best of times. But off to church I went, innocently deluded that I would enjoy a morning of learning and worship. Sitting in Sunday School, I started feeling pretty nauseous and my head felt like lead. I checked my blood glucose. 372 and still headed up, according to my trusty CGM. That was unsettling. As soon as I stood up to head for the bathroom, I realized I was not going to make it through the rest of the morning. I returned to class and told my husband I was going to have to go home. And that he was going to have to drive me.

So home we went. I slept for a while, ate some lunch, slept some more and watched my BG plunge downward, unsettling me even more. All my plans for a productive but relaxed afternoon went down the drain. I was ok for the evening of choir school, though my blood sugar was up and down all day, from very low to very high and back again.

I found that even the next day I was still pretty wiped out – tired and listless. I just can’t shake a day of roller coaster blood sugars off very fast. And here I am again, the next weekend, dealing with a very similar kind of roller coaster day that happened yesterday, though for different reasons. I am recovering today, but slowly, with a headache, low energy and just feeling pretty grumpy.

Here’s the good news in all of this: my emotions have not followed the roller coaster of my blood glucose. And if you know my struggles with all of this, you will know that this is a very good thing, and that it is a huge victory. I know this is a work of God in me, because I know that I do not have it in me to tame that emotional beast. I do so appreciate all who are praying for me, because I know that is part of the reason why this sense of peace is growing in me. God’s sovereignty extends to all parts of my life and all parts of my body, including my pooped out pancreas. And while He is not choosing to fix the pancreas, He is growing my reliance on Him and my ability to rest in His good choices for me. For this I am most thankful.

So, diabetes, take your best shot. I may falter, and I will stumble. But I know who wins this throwdown. And it isn’t LADA.

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