Life in LADA land

Living Philippians 1:6 with type 1.5 diabetes

Calming down in Las Vegas

on December 20, 2014

I am on vacation.  Those are words I don’t remember saying for a long time, and it turns out I really needed this.  I have taken trips that have been fun and energizing, but not vacation. My husband, son and I drove out to Las Vegas to visit our daughter, who lives here.  We are sleeping in, taking our time getting to places, stopping when we see something interesting or quirky or just downright weird (not uncommon in Las Vegas).  Mostly, we are just having fun as a family together again.  The fact that the weather is sunny with highs in the 50s and 60s is the icing on the cake. (I need to find a new phrase – icing on a cake just isn’t a good thing for a T1D.)

We are only a few days into this adventure in Las Vegas, but already I feel the stress rolling away.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not unhappy in my ‘real life’ back home. I love my job and the people I work with and the things I do. But it has been taking a toll on me lately and it is really only as I have come away from it that I see that.  I still have the same issues with diabetes that I have at home but I am handling them with far less  emotion.  I am able to head off the lows and let the highs roll off my back more easily.  I still hate being high, but I don’t feel the  same urgency or anger that has been plaguing me lately when a high hangs on without mercy. Nor do I feel the hopelessness of the lows.

There are all kinds of lessons here.  First, I need to manage my stress level better when I return to real life. I don’t have any idea yet what that looks like and honestly I am not really thinking about it. This is odd, because I had planned on thinking this through during these couple of weeks away.  I’m not. Maybe that is why I am feeling so relaxed.

Second, diabetes takes an emotional toll on me – and all diabetics, whatever type they may be. Can I hear an amen from my dia-buddies?  And there is a vicious cycle here – something goes awry with my blood sugar, I get all worked up about it (but have become adept at hiding this from others at times), and the emotional roller coaster that is set off often makes the blood sugar problem worse.  It certainly uses up energy that could better be used for more constructive things.  This lesson should not be news to me, but for some reason, I tend to deny that I am emotionally involved with this disease.  It feels like I am weak or that diabetes has too much power over me to admit that it affects me emotionally. But I give up – and hopefully my emotional health will improve because I finally have admitted this.

Third, I am not in a good place as far as really trusting God with all of this.  I am trying to manage the diabetes and the emotions all on my own.  My morning devotions have become too perfunctory, rather than feeding my spirit and filling me with His Spirit.  A too-busy life is death to my spiritual growth.  I need to let God’s Word penetrate beyond the surface and really change me. This takes time, energy and submission, things that have been in short supply in recent months.

Finally, exercise.  That has completely fallen by the wayside and I can feel it.  I am renewed in my commitment to swim regularly again.  I know it helps me feel better and it helps my blood sugar management.

These are my first conclusions from this time away.  I am hoping there will be more revelations that will motivate me to make the changes that I need to make, and perhaps some inspiration about what the changes are. But those are not things I am going to focus on. For now, I will just live day to day, enjoying the amazing scenery in and around Las Vegas, and laughing and playing with my family.  Merry Christmas everyone!

 

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