It was a rough night. It has been a while since I had such a bad night. The blessing of having a pump that responds to lows and alarms that alert me to fast-rising blood glucose usually keeps me from losing sleep these days.
But, due to a shipping snafu, I am without Dexcom sensors, which means no continuous glucose monitor to guide my pump to make decisions about preventing lows. And no alarms to warn me that I am headed high. So I woke at one point to a BG of 230 or so, treated it and went back to bed (though not to sleep since a BG this high makes me restless and hot….) I must have slept eventually but woke a little while later with a BG of over 300. Noticed my infusion site has a big bruise under it, so put in a new one (this is harder than it sounds when you are half-asleep) and dosed again. I am now sitting here writing this still feeling nauseous and not wanting to stick my finger to find out that my BG is still high.
My body is not mine to control. It has been invaded by an unwelcome disease that cannot be tamed all the time. But my body, thankfully, is not all there is to me. I have a soul that will last forever and today, that is my hope. In my morning devotions, I am reading from She Reads Truth, and today’s reading reminded me that I have a future and a hope that can push me beyond the current misery I am feeling. And Psalm 62 reminded me that God is indeed my rock and strength.
Those were the words I needed to hear this morning. Thanks be to God for His reminders. And meanwhile, I am hoping those sensors arrive TODAY.